Reflections on 2012

2012 is about to be a wrap and as I sit at the computer letting the Christmas holiday weight settle, I figured it be a good time to follow in the great tradition of coming up with some kind of commemorative list of important events from the year.  It has been a year that has seen a shift in my work to Family Life ratio, and I am thankful for that.  So here are my Top 5 Turning Points of the year that have lead to the life I currently get to enjoy.

5. Malibu Seawolves - When you spend time as a club coach, you hope to progress to the point where you have greater control over how things are run in the organization and that you have built up enough good will among families that they will not throw you overboard the minute you say or do something they don't agree with. If you're lucky enough to stay somewhere long enough you may even dare to dream of perhaps owning the organization one day. I hardly felt team ownership was the direction my life was heading after being dumped from two of the last three teams I had worked for, but that was the offer I got in June after spending some time working in Malibu. Bringing the Seawolves to life has been fulfilling and allows me to keep my feet wet in the club swimming world, a world that has become a major part of my identity. I look forward to seeing how it all develops.

The Auckland Museum

4.  New Zealand - In March I had the distinct pleasure of accompanying one of my athletes to the New Zealand Open Swimming Championships which served as their Olympic Trials. The excursion to Middle Earth was supposed to be a family one as the Mrs. had never been and we are all about getting as many stamps in Lil Man's passport as we can.  We had to go to Plan B however when Elijah joined us (see below) so I rolled to Auckland with Isaiah solo. It was the first time I had been away with Isaiah for such a long period, and it was the type of bonding time that I always hoped I would have for my children. I watched a whole lot of Disney Channel, fed him a whole bunch of Froot Loops and Gummi Bears, and also got to see his excitement as he saw all of Auckland. If I ever had any doubt about my ability to parent by myself, the trip put that notion to bed.

Conwell is 2nd from the left.

3.  Jeff Conwell - When Jeff Conwell asked me to preside over his wedding I was honored. It seemed like a cool thing to be able to say you married two of your good friends. As the date drew nearer and I started thinking about not only standing in front of Jeff and Alicia, but also their families to bless their union, it became a more serious matter. I was forced to really think about how I understand the covenant of marriage and how I wanted to speak on that understanding in a way that fit the bride and groom. Subsequently I have continued to explore how my life can be further enriched by aligning my steps with my faith. When I look around at who my role models and mentors currently are, they are all people who have had a close relationship with God that has sustained them. My father, for example has been an ordained deacon for at least thirty years. As I get older and have more familial responsibilities, I am beginning to recognize the power of a life closely tied to Christ to sustain me.  So in 2013 I will continue to look to Him to order my steps so that I can realize the full abundance of what he has in store for me.

2.  Harvard-Westlake - You know it when you have found a job that meets your criteria as a great position. Professional respect and room for development, excellent resources and facilities, peers who dont get caught up in BS, etc are all things that characterize a great job for me. I have found that working at Harvard-Westlake as head of aquatics (oh yeah the brand-spanking-new pool helps).  My schedule at HW also affords me the time to be present in raising the boys like no other job I've had.  I will not be surprised if I'm working there twenty to thirty years from now coaching and teaching the kids of my current students Shoulberg-style.



1.  Elijah Emeka Carroll - All you can do is marvel when your prayers are answered. We were blessed to have Isaiah six years ago on Thanksgiving Day.  We were resolute that we wanted to adopt our second child, but had no delusions that we would be matched with a newborn when we started the
process.  When I received the call from Nkechi, I was in the middle of a student teacher observation and nearly interrupted the whole class celebrating the news.  Having two boys in the house means
that I've had to develop as a parent in ways that I could not have imagined. I can't be a parenting liability if I expect our household to keep moving so that means being a better nurturer, being a more patient teacher, a more diligent house cleaner and a more efficient worker because if I don't sleep when the kids do, than there won't be any.  Wouldn't trade it for anything though because for every sacrifice there is a reward. Watching one son receive scholastic and athletic awards while the other learns to walk and talk have been more than enough payback, and I can't wait to see what lies down the road.

See you in 2013... I'm sure there will be plenty to write about.

The Morning After: How Will the President Spend His Next 4 Years?

 

This election season was exhausting.  As it became clear that Mitt Romney would indeed be the nominee of the GOP, I sidled up next to my mother everyday as she digested her MSNBC shows so that I could be as informed as possible.  Like many, I was skeptical of what President Obama had  done in his first term, and I wanted to see if in fact his opponent would be an option worth considering.  By the end of the summer I was weary of "campaign coverage" and simply resorted to reading from trusted sites to understand where the candidates stood on certain issues.  I didn't watch the debates because I knew that I wouldn't learn anything new about the candidates. I didn't volunteer to help as I originally had planned because I wasn't a fan of how the campaign was being run.  I voted and watched as the results came in.  I was surprised when the election was called less than twenty minutes after the polls in Cali closed, and then waited to see how the candidates would react to the results.  Ultimately what I had come to believe about the campaign, that it made these two men become different people just for the sake of winning, was confirmed in my mind as I listened to Governor Romney's concession speech and President Obama's acceptance speech.  When unburdened by the campaign and trying to conform to a set of ideals that weren't quite congruent with his own, Governor Romney is not as robotic and bland as he was characterized during the campaign.  He has a personality, and while I disagree with the way he envisioned leading the country, I had a greater respect for him after he walked off the stage in Boston.  The President sounded more like the man who talked about everybody's President when he addressed the masses in Grant Park in 2008.  He touched on ideas that he hadn't mentioned in weeks as he hunkered down to dismantle Romney's character.  I can only hope that folks will continue to lobby their local politicians so that the country can move forward and make some of the institutional changes needed to get people back to work.  Below are a few other things I wonder about as I wake up on the morning after President secured four more years in office

1.  Will the President's feet ever get held to the fire for his program of drone attacks?
According to a recent report published by the law schools of New York University and Stanford University, drone attacks are inaccurate in targeting Al Qaeda opeatives and have killed far more civillians than terrorists and actually incite more hatred of the US.  Pakistanis report fear of going to weddings or funerals because those gatherings may be viewed as meetings worthy of attack.  On a related note, the power that the Executive office has been given to execute American citizens believed to be participating in terrorist activities without due process is also troubling.

2.  Will the President be able to coalition build to pass policies that will make an impact on the deficit?
The popular narrative is that President Obama spent all of his political cache to pass Obamacare, and that in the effort to get reelected he was reticent to bully his policies through Congress.  What will now be his approach with four more years secured facing a Congress that is still Republican dominated?

3.  Will the privatization of American schools continue?
Public education is a dying institution in this country and the Race to the Top program simply creates more incentive for schools within districts to go for self which means the rich will get richer and the poor will be allowed to crumble and turn into charters which are only 50/50 in making the situation better.

I could go on, but it's time to get back to the grind.  For all those who voted for Obama, make four more years count.  For those who voted for Romney, continue to voice your opinion and hold the President accountable because there are changes that need to happen.

A Summer Well Spent

It was a blessing this summer to be able to spend time with my oldest son as he prepared to enter kindergarten.  He also faced the addition of a new sibling in the house. In past summers I have spent a large amount of time on the road coaching, but I have been blessed now with a position that allows me to spend more time with family at this important developmental stage. While Isaiah has done an exemplary job accepting the big brother role, he has also started to challenge authority, particularly with his mother, and that is something I want to shut down before it becomes a regular habit and starts happening at school.  Every day this summer, I would pick him up from camp, and either take him to the pool so he could burn some energy or we would go home and work on skills that would be useful in the classroom like counting or reading.  This kept him in practice with school skills like having to sit still and focus on a task.  He also got continued exposure to things he had learned during the school year.  Below are a couple other examples of how my additional time with my son was helpful:

Taking responsibility: Little Man struggled during the year with owning up to things that he did which he knew weren't right like not putting his clothes away, or forgetting to flush the toilet.  His teacher had observed the same thing in school. This summer when he tried to claim "I didn't do it" he was consistently held accountable.   I explained how he could get in more trouble for not owning up to his mistake than if he just apologized.

Controlling Emotions:  We wanted to move Little Man forward beyond crying when he did not get his way.  His teacher noted that he often did this in school.  This summer I pushed him to use his words to explain why he was upset.   I also forced him not to whine when he wanted something.  He is only five, but he looks to be seven or eight, so we want his maturity to match what his teachers perceive when they see him.

Bonding Activities:  Little Man and I grew closer over the summer because of the opportunities we had to do things together.  He came to the pool with me to watch me coach, and I answered all of his questions about what was going on.  We also went to the movies together, and I took him to his karate classes, which allowed me to give instant feedback on what I saw. 

Ultimately, this summer gave me a multitude of opportunities to affirm my love, and support of my oldest son at a time when he could easily think that there is less attention available for him.  The early payoff is that he has started the school year very positively, and his teacher has been impressed by his leadership and work ethic.

Olympics Post-Mortem

It's been a week now since the 2012 Summer Olympics hosted by the city of London concluded.  Americans have been rejoicing ever since as we topped not only the overall medal count, beating China by 16, but also finishing atop the standings in the number of gold medals won with 46, eight more than 2nd place China.  As usual, contests that seemed to be a forgone conclusion on paper turned out totally different.  That drama, along with the great human interest stories, is what makes the Olympics so compelling  Let me go over the things I thought would be big stories, then recognize some things that became big stories, and then look ahead to Rio 2016 when we'll put on our Uncle Sam hats and do it again.

PRE-GAMES HEADLINERS - These folks had big hype coming in, but it's hard to live up to Olympic-level scrutiny...

RYAN LOCHTE - In a pre-Phelps swimming world, what Lochte did in 2012 would have been revered.  But just like NBA players who don't have rings because they played in the Jordan era, Lochte will always be measured against his homey.  Two gold, two silver, and a bronze is a nice haul for any Olympic swimmer, but when you consider that he won five gold at the 2011 World Championships, and that he lost his signature event (200bk) and got run down on the anchor leg of a relay, you'd have to say that he didn't quite deliver in London.  No worries, he's still going to get his money, and he'll likely be back for more medals in 2016.


USAIN BOLT - Delivered like a champ.  Erased all memory of him getting beat in the Jamaican trials by Johan Blake, and got the gold trifecta (100m, 200m, 4x100relay).  Got no problem with him saying he's a legend, but he's not the greatest athlete to live.  For my money, he'd have to hurdle and long jump to begin to make that claim.  Speaking of long jumping, shame on Carl Lewis for trying to rush the stage Kanye-style during Bolt's moment.  Nobody has forgotten Los Angeles in '84 Mr. Lewis, relax.

JORDAN WIEBER - The regining All-around World Champion gymnast didn't even make it to the all-around Finals in London, though she arguably deserved to.  Then when she got a chance to earn a medal in an individual event, she got seventh.  To spin this positively, it is a testament to the development of US Gymnastics that the reigning World Champ could be outshined by two teammates, and be reduced to a supporting role.

SANYA RICHARDS-ROSS - You could not miss Richards-Ross face in pre-Olympicpromotional campaigns from Shell, Citibank, and Nike.  She delivered in this Olympics unlike in Beijing '08 by winning her signature event, the 400m.

OLYMPIC SCENE STEALERS - These folks were not high on the national radar coming in to the Games, but they made their mark, and now stand to gain handsomely...

ALLISON SCHMITT - Became more than just "Michael Phelps Training Partner" during this Olympics as she took home an individual gold in the 200m freestyle plus two relay gold medals, and then added a silver and a bronze.  I look to see her back for 2016

GABBY DOUGLAS - In a story made for Hollywood, the 16yr old becomes the first Black woman to win the Olympic all-around.  It was tough watching her fall off the beam and struggle in her individual events, but her Olympic performance will go down in history.



DAVID BOUDIA - Made Americans remember that we have a history of diving excellence by becoming the first since Greg Louganis to win a diving gold medal (10m platform)

YE SHIWEN - The Chinese 16yr old took gold medals in the both the 200 and 400 individual medley, and raised eyebrows for her blazing freestyle split in the 400. 

DAVID RUDISHA - Performance of the Games as far as I'm concerned winning the 800m on the track with a world record time of 1:40.91. The way he ran the race, effortlessly separating at the 450 mark, had to leave not only the track fan, but the layman saying "How did he do that!"  Hope they find a nice spot for his tree at St. Patrick's.

LOOKING FORWARD TO RIO 2016 - Things that I'll have my eye on to see how they develop as we move towards Brazil in four years...

AGE LIMIT FOR US MEN'S BASKETBALL TEAM - David Stern wants to see an age limit imposed for Team USA of under 23 in order to protect his NBA product.  According to ESPN.com, FIBA is not prepared to put this age cap in place for 2016, but I wouldn't be surprised if the NBA continues to make a strong run at this.  While it is entertaining to watch Team USA go Harlem Globetrotters on Nigeria or Tunisia, I think it would be interesting to see if Jerry Colangelo could develop an under 23 squad that could beat the more seasoned world teams.  Here's what a U23 might have looked like for 2012 (pre-injury):

Kyrie Irving (G)
John Wall (G)
Jrue Holiday (G)
Klay Thompson (G)
Brandon Knight (G)
DeMarcus Cousins (C)
Anthony Davis (C)
Derrick Favors (F/C)
Paul George (F)
Kawhi Leonard (F)
Derrick Williams (F)
Tristan Thompson (F)

Knight, Williams, and Thompson are the only ones not already in the USA Basketball pipeline.  The other 9 were members of the 2012 Select Team which served as a sparring partner for the Olympic team.  I could not see this team not winning the Gold medal because there's no proven player like LeBron, Kobe, Kevin Durant, or Chris Paul who could put the team on their back in the 4th quarter, but it would be interesting to see who might emerge.

REINVESTMENT INTO USA TRACK&FIELD - I've never seen such a poor showing on the men's side in Track & Field.  Bronze in the 100m, NO medals in the 200m and 400m (first time since FOREVER), and Silver in the 4x100 and 4x400.  In contrast, it was a banner Olympics for the T&F field women.  Silver in the 100m, Gold and Bronze in the 200m, Gold and Bronze in the 400m, Gold in the 4x100m and 4x400m relays.  What is apparent is that there is very little support for the National team unless you have past medal pedigree, which means we're left with college athletes, who are overextended by the time the Games take place, and a large number of pros who cannot fully dedicate themselves to training because they have to work at Home Depot or Staples to support themselves (hence why Dawn Harper and Kellie Williams have been unloading darts on Lolo Jones).  I wonder if USATF will figure it out like other USA governing bodies have.

WILL NFL FOOTBALL GO OLYMPIC - If I had not heard Roger Goodell talk about it with my own ears, I wouldn't believe this to be an actual movement.  Can't ever see this happening, but it will be interesting to see if it's still being talked about four years from now.

Here's to another four years of buildup...

10 Years of Married Happiness...How Fast A Decade Goes By

I'm feeling really blessed  like Jill Scott today as I have reached Year 10 of my marriage to the former Nkechi N. Okoro. Ten years means alot to me, and I see it as a milestone because it is half as long as my parents were married. It makes me reflective about what has worked so far and what I need to continue working on. I'm only riding the marriage coaster once, so I plan to do everything I possibly can to maximize the experience.

At ten years, with two kids, and living in a house with an actual picket fence, I feel like we have achieved many of the goals that couples set for themselves when they come off the euphoria of the wedding and honeymoon. The Mrs. and I are now into what I call the Foundation Years where we are building our family and looking to cement our brand so that we are maximizing the return on our labor.  When we reach the empty nest Legacy Years post-retirement, we'll have solace in knowing that we have left something for the next generation of Carrolls. In arriving at this point, I feel like the eighth grader who has graduated and is now about to start high school.  I'm more concerned with how I can learn from the upperclassmen, then what I can tell a sixth grader about surviving middle school.

I often silently observe married couples whom I respect, and try to distill which qualities I think most help their marriage.  Through those observations I have realized that discipline, patience, and efficiency are the qualities that I need to continue to develop because they make me a better father, husband, and professional.  Here's why:

 - Discipline is necessary to make sure that when I plan to do something, I execute the plan.  My disposable time is not as abundant as it used to be, so in order to achieve my goals and maintain the life balance I want, work time has to be just that so that I can play when the opportunity arises.

- Patience allows me to be a better father because it enables me to take the time to teach my sons the lessons they need to learn. It helps me be a better husband because I don't take it personal when I can't have as much of the Mrs. undivided attention as I once got.  Patience keeps me from being selfish.  The minute you start to feel like you're entitled to be selfish in a marriage, the foundation starts to crumble.

- Efficiency is making sure that my efforts are focused.  If it's time to write, then I've got to put the focus there, and not split time writing and Facebooking/Tweeting/Instagramming, etc.  The same is true for spending time with the kids.  I'm a Iphone addict, and I'm trying to recover.  Time with the kids and Mrs is just that, and in order to enjoy it fully I can't be distracted

The beauty of marriage is that it's the partnership that allows you to see the things about yourself that you want to improve because the growth is for the good of the union.  The self-work that I do allows me to be a better captain of the ship, and the better I captain the ship, the less chance there is for a Titanic vs. Iceberg moment, or in my case, the Mrs. running off with 50 Cent, or some other Hollywood leading man. 

One of the things I'm most excited about for this anniversary weekend is the chance to celebrate with many key members of our support network and express to them how much they have meant to us.  Marriage peers and mentors are instrumental in making it last, and we have a number of role models who have taken us under their wing, and have given us a roadmap of what the road looks like ahead.  At the same time, our peers have been able to share in the successes and prop us up in the seasons of struggle.  While ten years is good, there is much more marriage ahead that I'm looking forward to.  There is not a day that I don't think I've got the best partner I possibly could have riding shotgun with me.  Love you Nkechi.

Outstanding Performances from Olympics Past

Now that the Opening Ceremonies have concluded and proper protocol has been set for the 2012 Olympics, it's time to sit back and see who can join this list of the most outstanding performances in my lifetime.

Before My Time:

Jesse Owens - 4 track gold medals in ('36) while Hitler watched.
Wilma Rudolph - 3 track gold in Rome ('60). First American woman to top the podium 3 times.
Mark Spitz - 7 swimming gold in Munich ('72).  Set the bar that couldn't be touched for almost twenty years.
Nadia Comaneci - 3 gymnastics gold and 5 medals overall in Montreal '76. First perfect 10 awarded in competition for uneven parallel bar routine.

In My Lifetime

Michael Phelps - In the history of swimming, the number 8 will forever be associated with Phelps run in Beijing ('08). Though there was a little bit of luck involved, he was also damn good in crushing the field in the 4IM, 2IM, 2fl and 2fr.

Matt Biondi - First swimmer in my lifetime to make a serious run at "The Spitz". Brought home 5 gold medals from Seoul ('88) and was a bad touch away from a 6th in the 100fl.

Vitaly Scherbo - Bealrusian gymnast took home 6 gold from Barcelona ('92) out of the eight events he competed in.

Natalie Coughlin - 6 medal haul in Beijing ('08) was the biggest ever for an American woman. She took gold in the backstroke, but also medaled in the free and IM.

Mary Lou Retton - In ('84) she was the 1st American gymnast I ever saw win the all-around. A feat also accomplished by Nastia Liukin in Beijing, but Mary Lou did it first and her coach, Bela Karolyi puts her over the top.

Carl Lewis - 4 Gold in ('84). So versatile. 100/200, and probably best technician ever in the LJ. Had the event locked down from 84-96.

Janet Evans - Queen of American distance swimming. Took 3 gold in Seoul ('88) and the look on her face after smashing the WR in the 400fr is a lasting mental image.

Greg Louganis - Double gold in springboard and platform in Los Angeles ('84) and Seoul ('88). The Seoul performance after being concussed on springboard is unforgettable.

Michael Johnson - Gold shoes in Atlanta in '96 and he came through with WR in both the 200 and 400, my all-time favorite track events.

Jackie Joyner-Kersee - JJK not only won the multi-event heptathlon in Barcelona '92, but also the long jump. She still holds the WR in the heptathlon.

All asterisk performances - Performances derailed by positive drug tests
Ben Johnson - Seoul '88
Marion Jones - Sydney '00

Trials Wrap Up:

The 2008 Trials in Swimming and Track & Field, my two favorites of all, did not disappoint, and we now have two London-ready contingents who should bring back a nice haul of medals if their Trial performances give us a fair indication of who they are.  Below are my final Class Notes on what I saw over the course of last week, and into the beginning of this week.

Swimming's Obama moment:  As a lifelong swimmer who constantly had to explain to people that my lanky frame was not used for basketball growing up, but instead for swimming, it was a prideful moment for me and my Black swimming brethren and sistren to have Cullen Jones not only make the Olympic team in his first individual event, the 100-freestyle (not easy out of lane 1), but also win the Olympic Trials in the 50-freestyle.  Hopefully it will be easier to digest now when a young Black man says he wants to swim now that there is a face to model after in the same way that young Black boys can confidently say that occupying the Oval office is now possible.  The legacy of African-American swimmers in this country was enriched by Jones' achievements last week as well as those of Anthony Ervin who came out of retirement to make another team as well as Lia Neal, who followed in the footsteps of Maritza Correia to become the second Black woman to accomplish the feat.  I hope these results will inspire the USA Swimming Foundation to redouble their commitment to the Make A Splash campaign, of which Mr. Jones has been an ambassador for the past quadrennium.

Youth Movement Continues:  USA Swimming continues to do a commendable job identifying and developing young athletes who will one day become part of the National Team.  As we say happy trails to Katie Hoff, Amanda Beard, and Dara Torres as Olympians, we welcome Missy Franklin, Kate Ledecky, and Lia Neal to the Olympic stage.  This lies in stark contrast to the Men's Olympic team where there is no member under the age of 20 years old.

Phelps vs. Lochte:  The races at the Olympics between these two will be some of the greatest we have ever seen between two Americans.  The variety of events in which they will compete is what makes the rivalry unique, and will be must-see TV during the first week of Olympic coverage.

Allyson Felix's Gold Quest:  As decorated an athlete as Allyson Felix has been, her resume does not have that signature individual gold medal performance that allows an Olympian to be able to do speaking engagements for the rest of their lives.  She looked like she is intent on making sure she gets that medal as she blew away the field at the Trials in a time of 21.69.  I don't know how much we will ever know about the machinations that enabled Felix to gain an additional spot on the team in the 100m dash over her teammate, Jeneba Tarmoh, but she is now in a nice position to bring home four more medals from London to bring her total to seven.  This would give her more than Jackie Joyner-Kersee, one of the most decorated American track athletes ever.

Struggle to make the Olympic Standard:  I became well-versed in the swimming Olympic standards during my March trip to New Zealand where it was cause for celebration when a competitor won an event and actually made the standard.  In the US, there is no Olympic swimming event where the two qualifiers struggle to make the standard.  It speaks to the strength of the team.  On the track however, it seemed that in many of the events over 400m, the question of whether or not the athletes had the Olympic qualifying time was a constant part of the race analysis, and does not bode well for American prospects for medals.  I hope the powers at USA Track & Field (USATF) have a development plan in place as College track and field programs continue to be killed off.