This week I've got the dissertation mojo rollin', so the blog action will be reduced to a verbal drive by of things that have clouded my mind as I try to get the diss out:
DR. LAURA
I've read on a couple of different sites that Dr. Laura wasn't racist with her decision to use the N-word. WRONG! Racism is based on the notion that one leans on their ethnic privilege to maintain traditional institutions of power. Dr. Laura boasting to a Black woman caller that she told her Black bodyguard that she wanted him on her basketball team because "White men can't jump" is exactly the kind of stereotype reinforcement that is characteristic of simple-minded bigots. She later admitted having little grasp of the politics around the N-word, and that's where she should have begun the conversation. I wish her luck doing speaking engagements to other simple-minded folks whose grasp of race is as wide as a hair follicle.
BLAGOJEVICH
It appears shocking that this seemingly arrogant dude got off especially when you hear that there were FEDERAL WIRETAPS involved, but at the end of the day his hand was NOT caught in the cookie jar. Simple. I'm actually surprised that the jury was 11-1. When I heard deadlocked, I was thinking 7-4 or 6-5. As 72 year-old Chicago native, Leota Johnson, noted from the courtroom, pay-for-play politics in Chi-town is normal. I'll be on the lookout for Blagojevich's "How to Get Off" reality show
NBA BALLERS
For those who want to crush NBA ballers for symbolically saying "GIVE US FREE" by manipulating their contracts so they can get out urban "hot spots" like Denver (Melo), Cleveland (LeBron), and Minnesota (Garnett) to play in more attractive cities, I say stop hatin'. I don't know too many people who wouldn't pack up shop IMMEDIATELY if they had the opportunity to make more money in salary and other income by relocating to a more metropolitan area. It's about time the players started to cultivate their own leverage against owners who've been making money off their backs for years. They just better do it before they get locked out next year because the owners won't leave the rabbit hole open for ever.
My prayers go out to those in Pakistan dealing with continued flooding and destruction stemming from the monsoon. The notion that an area as large as London is underwater is mind-boggling.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Hooray Marriage! The Book Closes on Year 8
As I again sit in a hotel room (for the 3rd year in a row) with no prospect of seeing my wife on our Anniversary, I again turn to my internet family to share and reflect on what she has meant to me over the last eight years. This year is especially poignant for us because we saw friends fall from the ranks of the married. So since I shared all my accumulated knowledge last year, I've only got a story and a recommendation this year. Indulge me if you will.
My Dad's consistent piece of advice when it came to women was "Jon, make sure you find a girl that's in your corner." Early on, I never thought this was exactly Yoda-like wisdom when he would say it, but as I got older, and the relationships became more complex, I quickly realized that my Father was laying on me the type of simple wisdom that one must pay their dues to understand. Having a "girl in your corner" did not mean the most sexually adventurous girl, or the girl who would bark like a dog while hopping on one leg like in Coming to America. It also didn't mean the girl who felt it was her duty to plan my life for me. When I started dating Nkechi Okoro, she had many "friends", and I felt I had no shot as I was an assistant second grade teacher making just enough to still live like a college student with my roomates who were all doing a fifth year because of their ridiculously difficult engineering majors. Nevertheless, we exchanged phone numbers, and soon were involved in a Turnpike Love that gave me the ability to navigate the NJ Turnpike with my eyes closed. One night at the close of one of our marathon phone conversations, I expressed that I wished we could see each other that weekend, knowing that we wouldn't. I was awakened by the phone three hours later
Me: "Hello"
Voice on the other end: "Did you still want to see me?"
Me: "Of course"
Voice on the other end: "Well, come down stairs and open the door"
At the moment I hung up the phone it was clear that this was the type of woman my Dad was talking about. The type of woman my roomates and I had dubbed a "Franchise Player". We were engaged a little over a year later, and August 10, 2002 remains one of the happiest days of my life. I often tell people that I know that I am capable of anything because of who I was able to marry. They usually laugh and think I'm just being charming, but I'm serious every time I say it. So with each passing year, much like an NBA franchise, I try to improve to keep the franchise player happy and avoid a LeBron-like exodus of my Franchise Player.
According to Divorce.com, the #1 reason marriages fail is because of financial problems, and as someone who's spouse makes more than him (sacrelige in some circles), I have to make sure I'm at least doing my part. My suggestion to my peers in the marriage game is this: THE FINANCIAL SUMMIT. Usually there's one party who handles the finances and comes up with the budgets, etc. I submit that the FINANCIAL SUMMIT should absolutely be necessary for couples so that there is equal participation in the financial planning of the house and so that ALL events and expenses are considered. Do we remodel the bathroom or kitchen? Do we go to this wedding or split? Where we going for the holidays? Vacation? Where's Lil Man going to school in the Fall? The longer you stay in the marriage game, the more grown up and important these decisions become, and they should not be left to the person with the perceived financial skillz (even if they do have multiple degrees in economics, finance, etc). So I highly recommend that old head and new couples alike do like the Mrs and I will do Sunday and set an appointment to sit down with notepads, calculators, and pencils and plan out the fiscal year so that you can celebrate those special moments as they should be celebrated.
My Dad's consistent piece of advice when it came to women was "Jon, make sure you find a girl that's in your corner." Early on, I never thought this was exactly Yoda-like wisdom when he would say it, but as I got older, and the relationships became more complex, I quickly realized that my Father was laying on me the type of simple wisdom that one must pay their dues to understand. Having a "girl in your corner" did not mean the most sexually adventurous girl, or the girl who would bark like a dog while hopping on one leg like in Coming to America. It also didn't mean the girl who felt it was her duty to plan my life for me. When I started dating Nkechi Okoro, she had many "friends", and I felt I had no shot as I was an assistant second grade teacher making just enough to still live like a college student with my roomates who were all doing a fifth year because of their ridiculously difficult engineering majors. Nevertheless, we exchanged phone numbers, and soon were involved in a Turnpike Love that gave me the ability to navigate the NJ Turnpike with my eyes closed. One night at the close of one of our marathon phone conversations, I expressed that I wished we could see each other that weekend, knowing that we wouldn't. I was awakened by the phone three hours later
Me: "Hello"
Voice on the other end: "Did you still want to see me?"
Me: "Of course"
Voice on the other end: "Well, come down stairs and open the door"
At the moment I hung up the phone it was clear that this was the type of woman my Dad was talking about. The type of woman my roomates and I had dubbed a "Franchise Player". We were engaged a little over a year later, and August 10, 2002 remains one of the happiest days of my life. I often tell people that I know that I am capable of anything because of who I was able to marry. They usually laugh and think I'm just being charming, but I'm serious every time I say it. So with each passing year, much like an NBA franchise, I try to improve to keep the franchise player happy and avoid a LeBron-like exodus of my Franchise Player.
According to Divorce.com, the #1 reason marriages fail is because of financial problems, and as someone who's spouse makes more than him (sacrelige in some circles), I have to make sure I'm at least doing my part. My suggestion to my peers in the marriage game is this: THE FINANCIAL SUMMIT. Usually there's one party who handles the finances and comes up with the budgets, etc. I submit that the FINANCIAL SUMMIT should absolutely be necessary for couples so that there is equal participation in the financial planning of the house and so that ALL events and expenses are considered. Do we remodel the bathroom or kitchen? Do we go to this wedding or split? Where we going for the holidays? Vacation? Where's Lil Man going to school in the Fall? The longer you stay in the marriage game, the more grown up and important these decisions become, and they should not be left to the person with the perceived financial skillz (even if they do have multiple degrees in economics, finance, etc). So I highly recommend that old head and new couples alike do like the Mrs and I will do Sunday and set an appointment to sit down with notepads, calculators, and pencils and plan out the fiscal year so that you can celebrate those special moments as they should be celebrated.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Getting Over Fear of the Water
As I sit here on press row watching Finals during the 2010 US Swimming Nationals, it gives me a unique opportunity to reflect on how far swimming has carried me. I've been involved in the sport for more than twnety-five years now, and it's hard to imagine that I was once the kid who was terrified to jump off of the diving board. In fact, I was the kid who wouldn't jump off the board unless someone was positioned directly under me.
All these years later, swimming is still paying the bills and while I get to marvel from the deck at the growing popularity of swimming as a spectator sport and the celebrity of swimmers like Phelps, Jones, and Coughlin, I can't help but be disturbed by the continuing trend of young people drowning all across this country. My heart sank earlier today as I read the story of the seven youth who drowned in the Red River in Louisiana. Even more saddening was that of all their family members who were assembled to enjoy some good bar-b-que, none of them could swim either, so they had to stand helpless as their young ones were taken away in the fast moving current. It makes me thankful that as scared as I used to be standing on the edge of the diving board, one meter off the ground, my mother made me stick with the sport. I can't imagine the terror that those kids must have felt as they found themselves swept away from the safety of the ledge where they had been playing minutes before. As a member of USA Swimming, it's absolutely necessary that we do more to curb such incidents from continuing to happen.
Data from a study done by the University of Memphis in partnership with USA Swimming indicates that FEAR is one of the biggest factors keeping parents from involving their kids in swim lessons. While I understand the initial hesitation, I would humbly direct those parents to the example of my mother, who doesn't know how to swim, but was adamant that all three of her chidren (and now her grandson) learn how to swim. The fear of watching your little ones go through lessons is nothing compared to the lifetime anxiety you'll feel every time you're near a pool or open water with the knowledge that your loved ones can't swim. For the ethnic families that worry about the damage that chlorine does to relaxed hair, go with braids for a summer, or au natural until the kids are water safe. The sad reality is that cities large and small will continue to cut pool time from their recreation budgets as long as the public does not make use of facilities. Swimming has been too good to me for me to look at it as a sport that is killing members of my community.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Recently, the Wake County (NC) School District made national headlines for their decision to discontinue a diversity program that allowed for school placement based on socioeconomic status. The uproar resulted in the arrest of protestors at a recent School Board meeting, most notably the President of the state NAACP chapter, Rev William Barber (pictured above). In a speech to the Board during the most recent June 15 meeting, Board chair Ron Margiotta said the following in a speech to the members:
"As a Board, we have received some criticism, mostly from those who would prefer to remain in the
past. We have been unfairly criticized, many roadblocks have been erected to distract us from our
work. However, we remain steadfast in our beliefs and undeterred in moving forward; very decisively
with our goals. Our goals are lofty and worthwhile, however, change will not come quickly or easily."
(Wake Co. Board of Ed Minutes 6.15.10)
Let me quickly lay out why this is just an awful statement. I applaud the protestors at the meeting for not rioting after hearing such arrogance.
FULL DISCLOSURE
For those who don't know, I'm the son of career educators in the School District of Philadelphia. I've watched my parents go through the entire public school ringer, and have also had my own experiences in public school and working with public school administrators. On top of this backdrop, I'm a grad student in Urban Education and most importantly a parent who thinks that given the taxes I pay, I should have MANY quality PUBLIC education choices at my disposal. And more ideally, ALL people should have quality public education choices no matter their bank account status.
WAKE COUNTY
Wake County is made up of twelve cities, most notably state capital, Raleigh, and growing metro center, Cary. The county consists of all most 900k residents according to the most recent census numbers. The median family income ranges from $110k in Cary to as little as $44k in Zebulon.
QUICK STUDY
I did some lunchtime research (defined as web surfing while eating lunch) on the Wake County Public School System (WCPSS), and some interesting trends quickly became clear. The big buzz phrase in public education these days is ADEQUATE YEARLY PROGRESS (AYP) for short due to the No Child Left Behind (NCLB) act signed into law in 2002. So whether you like it or not, AYP is the measuring stick against which schools are judged these days. Of the 51 elementary schools that made 100% of their AYP goals last year, 66% were located in TWO of the cities of Wake Co., they were RALEIGH, the state capital, and CARY, the most affluent city in the county. Five of the cities in the county only had ONE school meet all of their AYP goals. I think it's no coincidence that the cities with the fewest number of "quality" schools were the poorest, and had the highest rates of unemployment. I could go on and talk about how only 8% of the high schools made AYP goals, but I think you get the picture. Board member, John Tedesco, has been on TV talking about how the program was rescinded because it was not working for the poorest students in the county, but you would also recognize that there are other disparities that must be addressed so that ALL students have access to a quality education.
IN CLOSING
Board Chair Margiotta is trying to sell folks on the idea that eliminating the current school choice program is not a move to "Create high-poverty or low performing schools", but that's laughable because that was already happening, and now there will not even be the same effort to stem that trend. Without the diversity program, families who are able will pick up and move to areas where the highly-resourced schools are concentrated, leaving the already struggling cities to wilt even further without their tax dollars. My four years spent at the mighty Central HS, a Philly magnet school, certainly played a part in preparing me to work where I work, live where I live, and develop relationships with folks of various backgrounds. If public school gatekeepers continue to be allowed to make moves that institutionalize socioeconomic and racial strata, then THEY are the ones who are continuing to harken back to the past NOT the protestors who shout at the top of their lungs that they want something different.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Recent Lessons and Observations: Working, NAACP, Biz of Sports
You never know who's watching you...
I recently had to walk the plank (at knifepoint) at my previous place of employment in what can best be analogized as a Stan Van Gundy/Pat Riley situation minus the press conference where I talk about spending more time with my family. The ordeal was a clear reminder of a lecture John C. Carroll laid on me long ago. "You can show your ass if you want to," he said, "but you better be clear about what you're doing because you never know who's watching you." Had I been one known to go around acting like a jerk at every turn, then I would have never gotten another job so close to home as quickly as I did. Shout out to Pops for hammering home a lesson as only he could.
Get off the mat NAACP
The NAACP has a chance to be revive it's image as an organization interested in doing more for the community than putting on a solid awards show. It has been a long time since the group has been seen as a leader in advocating for the human rights of those who have traditionally been denied rights and opportunities for advancement. Current leader, Ben Jealous strikes me as someone who is both aware of the history, but more importantly has a plan on how to be viable in today's more nuanced racial landscape. He just got a fire baptism on how nuanced the political game can be in this era, but he can't let the egg white stay on his face and keep him from the mission of advocacy on a number of fronts. One of the key initiatives should be domestic job creation. The statistics around unemployed men of color in many urban centers is staggering and it will be difficult to get people out to vote in these all important November elections if they are not working. Let's get to work Mr Jealous, I'm ready to ride...
Hood Rich Ain't Wealthy
It will be interesting to see how athletes in both the NBA and NFL in particular will strategize to navigate through upcoming Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) negotiations. I was one who applauded how James, Wade, and Bosh leveraged their free agency against the owners, I'm hopeful that the rest of the league has planned properly so that they can have leverage against owners who claim to be losing money yet continue to hand out enigmatic max contracts to overrated players. Athletes across both the NBA and NFL have long been been painted as mindless worker bees with weak unions because of their hyper-consumer mindsets. Analysts like Chris Collinsworth are already estimating that as much as 25% of NFL players will go broke with any kind of extended work stoppage. A sad thought, but here's to hoping that players have realized that amassing wealth is a game of chess, not checkers.
I recently had to walk the plank (at knifepoint) at my previous place of employment in what can best be analogized as a Stan Van Gundy/Pat Riley situation minus the press conference where I talk about spending more time with my family. The ordeal was a clear reminder of a lecture John C. Carroll laid on me long ago. "You can show your ass if you want to," he said, "but you better be clear about what you're doing because you never know who's watching you." Had I been one known to go around acting like a jerk at every turn, then I would have never gotten another job so close to home as quickly as I did. Shout out to Pops for hammering home a lesson as only he could.
Get off the mat NAACP
The NAACP has a chance to be revive it's image as an organization interested in doing more for the community than putting on a solid awards show. It has been a long time since the group has been seen as a leader in advocating for the human rights of those who have traditionally been denied rights and opportunities for advancement. Current leader, Ben Jealous strikes me as someone who is both aware of the history, but more importantly has a plan on how to be viable in today's more nuanced racial landscape. He just got a fire baptism on how nuanced the political game can be in this era, but he can't let the egg white stay on his face and keep him from the mission of advocacy on a number of fronts. One of the key initiatives should be domestic job creation. The statistics around unemployed men of color in many urban centers is staggering and it will be difficult to get people out to vote in these all important November elections if they are not working. Let's get to work Mr Jealous, I'm ready to ride...
Hood Rich Ain't Wealthy
It will be interesting to see how athletes in both the NBA and NFL in particular will strategize to navigate through upcoming Collective Bargaining Agreement (CBA) negotiations. I was one who applauded how James, Wade, and Bosh leveraged their free agency against the owners, I'm hopeful that the rest of the league has planned properly so that they can have leverage against owners who claim to be losing money yet continue to hand out enigmatic max contracts to overrated players. Athletes across both the NBA and NFL have long been been painted as mindless worker bees with weak unions because of their hyper-consumer mindsets. Analysts like Chris Collinsworth are already estimating that as much as 25% of NFL players will go broke with any kind of extended work stoppage. A sad thought, but here's to hoping that players have realized that amassing wealth is a game of chess, not checkers.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Lessons Learned in London
It was an interesting first trip to the UK. Always good to fellowship with the abundant clan of inlaws. Along with the usual genealogoy lesson, a couple more things I picked up during my stay:
10. My tolerance for temperatures lower than 70-degrees is higher than I thought after 5+ yrs in LA.
9. It is harder than one might think to get used to cars driving on the opposite side of the road. If you swivel your head the wrong way, you will get runover by a cab.
8. It's weird to see the NBA, NFL and MLB replaced on the sports pages by Soccer, Cricket and Tennis.
7. Shortbread is overrated.
6. Boutique hotels try to hustle you by charging for WiFi PER laptop, and also by trying to prevent you from bringing food into the premises.
5. "Mind the gap" is not a reference to dental imperfection.
4. "Skinny" jeans are just not a good look on dudes.
3. The 2012 Olympics should be sponsored by Marlboro or Camel. If athletes thought the air in Beijing was bad, they're in for a rude awakening in London. I won't be surprised if I see a Brit light up during the medal ceremony.
2. Stay away from all appliances with plastic handles. I wasted a my whole last day because I broke the handle on a mini washer/dryer with a cheap a$$ handle. On top of that, it didn't dry squat.
1. Whatever you save up to spend when traveling to the UK, DOUBLE IT! It is no fun to shop when you're only getting $.70 to the UK pound.
10. My tolerance for temperatures lower than 70-degrees is higher than I thought after 5+ yrs in LA.
9. It is harder than one might think to get used to cars driving on the opposite side of the road. If you swivel your head the wrong way, you will get runover by a cab.
8. It's weird to see the NBA, NFL and MLB replaced on the sports pages by Soccer, Cricket and Tennis.
7. Shortbread is overrated.
6. Boutique hotels try to hustle you by charging for WiFi PER laptop, and also by trying to prevent you from bringing food into the premises.
5. "Mind the gap" is not a reference to dental imperfection.
4. "Skinny" jeans are just not a good look on dudes.
3. The 2012 Olympics should be sponsored by Marlboro or Camel. If athletes thought the air in Beijing was bad, they're in for a rude awakening in London. I won't be surprised if I see a Brit light up during the medal ceremony.
2. Stay away from all appliances with plastic handles. I wasted a my whole last day because I broke the handle on a mini washer/dryer with a cheap a$$ handle. On top of that, it didn't dry squat.
1. Whatever you save up to spend when traveling to the UK, DOUBLE IT! It is no fun to shop when you're only getting $.70 to the UK pound.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Be Ready When Youth Reach Out
So James walked onto the deck late on a Saturday morning and started his normal routine of getting dressed slow, flirting with whichever of his lady teammates is on deck, and of course his "rigorous" stretching routine. Knowing that it is pointless to try and hustle him into the water because I've tried, and with it being 7am, I simply watched the whole thing play out from the other end of the pool. As warm up ended, he still wasn't in, and the look on his face wasn't the usual "I'm so cool", it was more like "My dog just got hit by a truck". As I walked up to him, I fixed my face from disgruntled to concerned.
"What's up? You sick"? I asked
He shook his head no. That was a bad sign. This dude usually wastes no opportunity to talk.
"So what's going on? You hurt"
Another head shake no. Now I'm getting worried.
When he finally could summon the words, he got out "I can tell you anything right?"
"Sure." It sounded serious
He started to talk three times and couldn't. He went to the locker room to compose himself, and when he finally managed to tell me what was going on, I was shocked, and all I could do was stand patiently and listen. When he was done all I could do was offer continued support because the nature of what he told me was so far beyond my life experience that I could not even try to picture myself in his shoes. Thank goodness listening helps. This young man felt he couldn't discuss this issue with his parents, but by luck, his father dropped by practice, and he ended up having to tell his father what was on his mind. It was quite the lesson that no matter how well today's teens seem to be handling things with their skinny jeans sagging, they still need guidance, mentorship and support.
"What's up? You sick"? I asked
He shook his head no. That was a bad sign. This dude usually wastes no opportunity to talk.
"So what's going on? You hurt"
Another head shake no. Now I'm getting worried.
When he finally could summon the words, he got out "I can tell you anything right?"
"Sure." It sounded serious
He started to talk three times and couldn't. He went to the locker room to compose himself, and when he finally managed to tell me what was going on, I was shocked, and all I could do was stand patiently and listen. When he was done all I could do was offer continued support because the nature of what he told me was so far beyond my life experience that I could not even try to picture myself in his shoes. Thank goodness listening helps. This young man felt he couldn't discuss this issue with his parents, but by luck, his father dropped by practice, and he ended up having to tell his father what was on his mind. It was quite the lesson that no matter how well today's teens seem to be handling things with their skinny jeans sagging, they still need guidance, mentorship and support.
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