Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Souled Out on Fatherhood

Was listening to Hezekiah Walker's "Souled Out" in the car the other day, and after a weekend where I almost laid hands on Little Man, I realized how souled out I am on Fatherhood. Some notes from a young Dad.

1. When Little Man is on punishment. Dad is on punishment
When you tell the Little One that he can't watch TV for the rest of the evening that means I don't get to watch any TV because if I do, I'll hear this until it's time to go to bed "But why do you get to watch TV Daddy?". Now the lesson isn't being learned and I'm just getting more angry because the answer "Because I said so" isn't working. Better to just dig into my "To Read" pile and curl up with a blanket.

2. No Hip-Hop in the car...Yet
For now, a solid exposure to Earth, Wind, and Fire, Anita Baker, Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder will have to do. Can't have Little Man walking into day care singing "I'm in Miami trick!" or "Niggas compare me to Biggie and 'Pac already..." Needless to say that wouldn't be a good look. So we'll wait til he has a little more discretion before he gets his Hip Hop immersion.

3. No more sleeping in on Sundays
Train up a child in the way he should go, and he'll never depart from it. That means Dad and Mom can't be lazy on Sundays and skip church. The moral and spiritual compass is set early, and gets more rooted with consistency.

4. Hearing Little Man disrespect the Mrs. sends me over the edge
I don't consider myself a hot head by any stretch of the imagination, but when Little Man decides he wants to test boundaries and tell Mommy "NO!" or snatch his hand away, it takes all the WOOOO SAAHHHHs I have in me to keep from turning into the Incredible Hulk and catching a case. Little Man is only 3, so my logical mind eventually wins out and reminds me that he's still learning.

5. I'll change my career in a heartbeat to ensure Little Man gets the attention he
This is the most telling realization to me because I see and observe many parents who are able to do the bare minimum as parents in the name of being able to provide monetarily and materially anything a kid could ever want. That's not the model I have in mind. God forbid, Little Man should succumb to his genes and be swimmer. If it comes to pass, I'll sign him up with one of my coaching brethren and be at every meet. Times are too perilous for young Black men to be a part-time Dad.


  1. I heart this post. No hip hop in the car - that one touches my heart. I believe that you have to give children a foundation in good music so they can tell the difference as they grow up.

    I love your good daddy efforts. Kudos!

  2. 目標是什麼不重要,目標能產生什麼樣的效果才重要........................................